Torchwood And Doctor Who Drabbles
by SmartButNotRelativelySane
Summary: Yup, does what it says on the tin. We post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, alternating. Ratings may vary. Slash is a moral imperative, it's Torchwood we're talking about. Mild cursing. Some sexual themes, some depression, it varies from day to day.
1. Friday, June 17, 2011

**Crack/Humor Friday with Nomad. Probably refers to the second more than the first.  
><strong>

"John?" Jack stared. It was late, everyone else had gone home. Ianto himself had left only minutes ago. "What are you doing here?" John shrugged.

"I was lonely," he said. Two seconds later Jack found himself flat on his back (on Owen's desk, no less) with John's lips firmly attached to his own. Then, all of a sudden, John stiffened and dropped to the floor. Jack found himself gaping at a furious Ianto threateningly wielding a taser.

"I forgot my car keys,"


	2. Monday, June 20, 2011

**Hey, this is Caz, and it's Fluff Monday! **

Jack watched Rhys and Gwen dance. Sure, everyone else at the party was out for the count, Retcon setting to work on their brains, and, sure, Jack himself was a bit drunk, but whatever. It was Gwen's wedding. (Mostly) everyone was alive. That was good. Jack closed his eyes for a moment, smiling softly to himself as he heard the _thunk_ of Ianto collapsing in the chair beside him, obviously exhausted.

"She really fancies you, you know."

"I know."

"But if you ever tried anything, she'd run straight home to Rhys."

"I know."

Ianto stayed silent after that, watching the newly-married lovers smile at each other, content in their moment of perfection after the horrors of the day.

Jack groaned and repositioned, leaning back against the chair. "Ianto?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever leave me."

"Never." Ianto replied, because no matter what the Doctor did, Jack knew he would always come back to Ianto, even if it took him forever. No matter how much we worship our unattainable heroes, we always run home to our lovers.


	3. Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The strangest things can bring people together. Sometimes its something little, sometimes its something huge. But whatever it is, those people are bound together. Forever.

The team at Torchwood 3 are very close. You would have to be, with a job like theirs. But three of them in particular are very close.

Ianto, Tosh, and Owen. So different, yet so similar. All of them have lost a loved one. A loss made even more painful by that fact that theirs deaths were all linked, directly or indirectly, to their jobs at Torchwood.

Ianto. He lost the woman he loved first to the Cybermen, but ultimately to Torchwood. And it still hurt, it always would. But he was slowly starting to heal and move on.

Tosh. So self-doubting. Mary had made her feel special, feel loved. And it had turned out to be a hoax all along. The betrayal had stung deep, but thanks to support from friends she didn't think she had, she too was moving on.

Owen. Losing his fiance before he knew anything of other worlds. Maybe if it had happened later, he could have helped. But it was too late for that now. Owen doesn't trust himself to love anymore, but he cares more deeply for his teammates than he would admit. Perhaps he will never love again, and he will always harbor that pain, but he has a different life now. And slowly, the wounds are beginning to heal.

Gwen doesn't understand. Not while she has Rhys. And Jack, well, Jack had had more than enough loss in his life. But the truth was, they knew so little about him, it just wasn't enough.

It was nothing huge, nothing obvious. Just a quiet smile, a friendly word. It was enough, though, to know someone else understood their pain.

Their losses had bound them together. And though it was a bittersweet friendship, the three of them would always be bound together. Forever.


	4. Friday, June 24, 2011

**Hi! Caz here. I got an MRI yesterday, because my doctor thought I might have brain tumors. I don't, fyi. I'm fine. But, I did have to sit perfectly still while they scanned me. And, for a girl with ADHD, that was horrible. Anyways, I fell asleep, and when I woke up I freaked out because I had no idea what was going on other then that I had to be still, and I had a complete silent panic attack. That's when this came to me. So, I guess it's kind of a Crack!fic...**

Joel McKentrie was an okay guy.

Sure, he was a vampire, but things _could_ be worse. He _could_ kill to feed. Okay, fine, he did kill to feed. But, that didn't _really_ count as killing, did it? I mean, everybody had to eat. And, Joel had a family to feed.

Well, actually, he didn't have a family to feed. He just liked to say that for appearances sake. Still, he had to eat to live, and he had to kill to eat. Under other circumstances, he might have gotten along with Captain Jack Harkness.

I mean, Jack like charisma, right? And, judging by his preference in men, Jack certainly liked neatness. Joel was a _very_ neat-'n-tidy man. On his planet, they believed in pristine neatness, and their appearance showed that. They were like humans, but paler, taller, and with fangs. Don't forget the fangs. Joel's species believed in never killing to eat. They obtained a blood-like substance from the plants on their planet, and that was that.

But, that planet was gone now. Burnt, by the Timelords, in the Time War. Joel was the last survivor, escaping onto the small planet called _Sol _3 for the rest of his much-longer-than-a-human's life.

Mr. McKentrie had been extremely surprised to find that the plants on Earth had no blood. The animals had blood, though. Unfortunately, there blood just wouldn't do. The cell count just wouldn't …erm… _cooperate_ with Joel's digestive system, and he couldn't survive on it. Only human blood would do.

Unfortunately still, Joel simply couldn't bring himself to kill humans. Animals had been bad enough to kill, but actual _homicide_? That was out of the question. But, every month, Joel had to kill a human. And he sobbed, as he drank up the succulent blood in the alleyway.

That's how he was when Torchwood 1892 found him.

That's why Torchwood eventually had to release him, after learning the circumstances of his situation.

That's why, once a month, every month, Joel McKentrie would guiltily cradle Captain Jack Harkness as he slowly, willingly bled to death in the young vampire's arms.


	5. Monday, June 27, 2011

**Nomad. Fluff Monday.**

"Gwen, why is there mistletoe in the Hub in the middle of July?"

-Line Break-

"Come on, Owen, please? He won't stop smiling, its creepy, he looks like the Cheshire Cat!"

"I remember that..."

-Line Break-

"There's been a few weevil sightings over in Splott."

"Right, Owen, Gwen you to take this one, then go home. Tosh, you can probably leave now too, it's getting late. Ianto? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just, why is it always Splott?"

-Line Break-

"It's just us now, Ianto."

"Good. I can finally get rid of that mistletoe."

"First, there's something I've been wanting to do all day."

"Wha- MMPH!"

"Well?"

"I guess even that darn mistletoe came in handy."


	6. Wednesday, June 29, 2011

**Jack could have saved the Master; the Doctor could have saved Ianto. This phone conversation had to happen. Don't ask me who's who; debate it in the reviews.**

"You could have saved him."

_I could have._

"Why didn't you?"

_You loved him more than me._

"I want to hate you. Why is it so hard for me to hate you?"

_Why is it so easy for me to hate myself?_

"He didn't have to die."

_I know._

"You could have intervened."

_No. I couldn't have._

"Why NOT? It's not like you didn't have the ability?"

_I'm sorry._

"Wait- are you hanging up on me?"

_Duty calls._

"What is it this time?"

_Aliens. As per usual. Bye, -_

"Don't you hang up on me now."

_Sorry._

**I must say, I'm ashamed. I know by the traffic stats that hundreds of people see this a week, but there's only one review so far. So, you know what? I'm starting a rebellion against the idiocy of this. From now on, I will review every story I read. I advise you to do the same. Right now. Button below. DO IT!**

**-C**


	7. Friday, July 1, 2011

**Nomad. Friday. Caz apologizes for the crap she posted Wednesday. She was working on the first paragraph of this, which I promptly stole and added to.**

The strangest things can bring people together. It could be a shared loss, an alien invasion, a toddler on crack. It could be anything, but that doesn't explain why these particular three wound up together on this particular night. No, there is no logical explanation to why the forty-fourth president of the United States woke up in a bed with two timelords.

"Ugh..." The first one moaned.

"My sentiments exactly," The second one said dryly.

"Shut up. Hey, it's the President! Go away." The first one ordered.

"Master! Where are your manners?" The second one exclaimed.

"My head hurts. How drunk did we get last night?" The Master wondered.

"Quiet drunk, I should imagine." The President interrupted.

"Mr. President! It's an honor to meet you, my name is the Doctor, and this rather rude fellow is the Master-" the first one said excitedly. The Master glared at them both.

"I'm not rude, I'm hungover!"

A phone rang. They all stopped abruptly. The Doctor frowned, stuck a hand underneath his pillow, and brought out a cell phone. "Hello? Jack? Sorry, busy right now, can't talk, go annoy Ianto or something and I'll call you back later, bye."

The Master grinned. "The Freak got tooooooooooooold," he sang.

The Doctor whacked him. "Don't call him that!"

"As fascinating as this is, really, could you help me get back to the White House?" The President asked. The two timelords looked at each other and shrugged.

"Ok," The Doctor said. "But only if you sign my TARDIS!"

The Master facepalmed.


	8. Monday, July 4, 2011

**So, Caz here. I made this awesome automated exel chart used to essentially formulate fanfictions to write later using dice and chance, and here's what it came up with for today: A random Doctor Who fanficton inspired by Goodnight Moon by Go Radio featuring Docster for Monday, July 4th. Explain to me how the hell I'm supposed to write that.**

The Master waltzed into his control room in a bathroom, holding a bound-'n-gagged prisoner by the collar. Sure, he had better things to do; and, sure he had had a few drinks beforehand, but, come on! HE was Lord and Master, he could torture his favorite prisoner if he wanted to!

The Master kicked the Doctor in the shoulder, pulled a chair over which he straddled, arms over the back so he was leaning over the Doctor, and pushed the prisoner on the floor, who just stared up at him with eyes full of hatred and confusion.

The Doctor simply stared up at the Master. The younger timelord held out the gun tauntingly, an odd smile on his face. They had played this game before. The Master would offer the Doctor a prisoner, a gun, and a suitable exchange- The Doctor could get ten years of his age back, all he had to do was gun down the prisoner. _The human would die anyways_ the Master had reasoned. All the Doctor had to do was pull the trigger, and that was one thing he could never do. Not to this human, nor any human. Especially not to the Master.

The Doctor's deep brown gaze left the Master's, as he looked out the window of the Valiant. "Oh, Koschei."

The Master stopped his taunting to stare at the Doctor. "Don't. Call. Me. That."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, and the prisoner laughed slightly. "Shut up!" the Master shouted towards the prisoner, who couldn't stop laughing do to the sheer insanity brought on by watching his on species die at the hands of a raving madman- sorry, mad-_alien_. "Shut UP!" the Master punctuated the second word with a swift strike of his laser screwdriver, killing the man instantly. He looked back at the Doctor. "You were saying?"

"You didn't have to do that, Koschei." The Doctor stared out the window once more.

"I said DON'T CALL ME THAT!" The Master roared, standing and flinging his chair away.

The Doctor ignored him, still focused on the window. The light from the rising sun shone through the mural painted in Jack's blood, creating an illusion almost like- "Oh _Koschei."_

"Shut up."

The Doctor knew he shouldn't anger the Master, but today he decided to throw caution to the wind. "Don't act like that wasn't purposeful."

The Master opened his mouth to yell, but stopped mid-sentence, and slowly slid down so he was sitting across from the Doctor, leaning against the table, staring out the window as well. The light filtered through the crimson-painted window, creating a perfect replica of the Gallifreyan skyline, complete with the three huge moons, so bright they could be seen even during midday. The Master laughed slightly.

From then on, attacks on the human race decreased by seventy-five percent.

From then on, Captain Jack Harkness wasn't tortured by the Master himself anymore, only by his servants.

From then on, the Master would sneak into his own control room every night at sunrise, and cry as he held a very confused Doctor to his chest.


	9. Wednesday, July 6, 2011

**Nomad. Wednesday. Blahbadeblah.**

The familiar sound of the TARDIS materializing echoed throughout the Hub. The usual greetings followed: hugs, enquiries about health, promise's of stories to be shared. Until Tosh asked if the Doctor could help her with something.

"It came through the Rift a few days ago," she explained. "And, as far as I can tell, it's not dangerous. I just can't figure out what it does!"

The Doctor took the device. It was a small box, solid, with a small handprint marking on the top, and a large dial on the side.

"Interesting," The Doctor mused. "It appears to be some sort of interrogation device, it delves directly into your memories and plays them back, sort of like a video- hologram device. The dial seems to be a tuning device, happy memories, sad memories, dreams…" he grimaced. "And nightmares. You can find out everything about a person with this." After a moment, Owen spoke up.

"Let's try it out," he suggested. He shrugged at the looks he received. "What? Like none of you are curious."

"How about you, Doctor?" Gwen suggested. "I bet you must have some pretty amazing memories. And I must admit, I'm pretty curious as to what a man like you would have nightmares about."

"My nightmares are my own burden to bear," the Doctor said quietly. Gwen frowned, Tosh looked puzzled, Owen looked curious, and Jack gave a sad, knowing, smile. Only Ianto kept his face carefully blank.

Gwen wasn't ready to give up a chance to learn about the Doctor this easily. She argued with him for several minutes, the Doctor growing increasingly angry as painful memories resurfaced. As it suddenly became too much, he cracked.

"Fine!" he snapped. He twisted the dial and slammed his hand down on the handprint. Gwen regretted her decision almost immediately.

The Torchwood team watched as a screen of memories appeared before them. They saw the Doctor watch his best friend go insane, saw him run away from the home that cast him out. They witnessed him making the ultimate sacrifice in order to protect the rest of the universe.

In the end, they were all crying. The Doctor had a hollow look in his eyes. "I'm sorry," Gwen whispered. The Doctor looked at her.

"Everyone's sorry. But being sorry doesn't make the pain go away."


	10. Friday, July 8, 2011

**Hi. I'm Caz. It's Crack/Humor Friday. I'm in a room with three black kittens named Nomad, Chell, and Shadow. They're all freaking adorable. Found this in my files.**

Owen scowled. "Great. We fell through the rift. Just _great_."

"Right." Gwen walked up to Jack, who was furiously typing into his Vortex Manipulator, "I think we covered that. So, where _are_ we? It looks just like Cardiff!"

Jack's eyebrows furrowed even further. "I think we're in some sort of parallel universe. Careful, there might be parallel versions of ourselves running about; don't go too far."

"A parallel universe?" Toshiko cut in, "Seriously?"

"Ye-" Jack was cut off as a woman in her mid-twenties walking up behind him.

"Hey is this some kind of cosplay or-" Jack turned around. "Holy crap, you're Torchwood."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "How do you know about Torchwood?"

"_How do I-_ How'dya think? You're Captain Jack bloody-HARKNESS! Unless… Oh, crap. It's just like in a fanfiction I read. You fell through the rift, didn'tya?"

"How do you know about the rift?" Tosh stepped forwards.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Look, just bear with me, okay? This is probably a universe parallel to yours. In this universe, none of you-" she gestured with her hands, "exist here."

"Wha-"

"I said bear with me. Now, none of you exist, except for in a science fiction drama on BBC3- well, 1 now- called 'Torchwood.'" She pulled out her phone, typed into it, then held it out to the team. It displayed a Wikipedia article about "Torchwood."

"How do we know she's telling the truth?" Owen asked.

"I just showed you a Wikipedia article!"

"…which could easily be fake." Tosh finished her sentence.

"Look, just, just ask me anything! No! No time, just- listen. You-" she pointed to Jack, "Are Captain Jack Harkness. You were born on fifty-first century Boshae, in one of the human colonies. Your father was killed and your brother captured in the invasion. You joined the Time Agency while young, but went rogue when you found out that they had erased two years of your memory. You became an intergalactic con man, until you met the Doctor in the middle of the London Blitz. You traveled with him for a while, but were murdered by daleks. Rose Tyler, the over-achieving freak that she is, figured bringing you back to life once just wasn't good enough, so now you're immortal. The Doctor abandoned you, so you tried to reach twenty-first century Earth. But your crappy time machine- no offence- took you back way further. You joined Torchwood, which brings us up to the present."

"Alright. Fine. I believe you. Now, how are we supposed to get back?" Owen scowled, then looked up to notice that it had gone relatively silent, and crowds of people were pointing at them and whispering. "Who the bloody hell are they?"

The woman shrugged. "Fangirls. I suggest you run."

"IANTO!" one teenage girl screamed, and the rest charged. The Torchwood team did not need to be told twice.

When the five finally got a chance to rest, in an alleyway, Gwen slapped Jack lightly. "She knows more about you than we do!"

Ianto panted. "Bloody fangirls."

"Right." Jack began, "To proceed, we should all get rid of anything that could identify us. Ianto- ditch the suit jacket, the tie, the stopwatch, untuck your shirt, and- for God's sake- mess up your hair, will you? Owen, kiss the lab coat goodbye! Gwen, Tosh- I don't know, think of something. I'll- oh. Great. As if this day could get any worse."

When they were done, Jack's coat was gone, his vortex manipulator was in his pocket, his hair was slicked to the side, and he had switched shirts with Ianto. Ianto was wearing Jack's blue shirt over his slacks, his hair was mussed up, and his trusty stopwatch was in his pocket. Owen's hair was slicked back, his leather jacket and lab coat removed, and a rather un-Owen smile was plastered to his face. Gwen's hair was pulled back into a bun, her clothes were switched with Tosh's, and her jacket had been dumped. Tosh's hair was down, and all her jewelry was removed.

"Alright." Ianto sighed, "We officially look completely out of character."

The team regrouped in a practically-empty public library, sitting by the computers. Tosh began by google searching "Torchwood," and reading the Wikipedia article. Owen googled "Torchwood fanfiction," and started reading through the archives. Ianto opened up YouTube, and started sorting through the many videos. Gwen had visited the local video store, and was watching the Torchwood box set. Jack had pocketed the set labled "Doctor Who."

Ianto sifted through the videos offered by YouTube. "Torchwood: Dead Line: Part One" looked promising.

Ianto was very surprised to hear his own voice over the headphones.

"_Professor Courtney, we have a mutual… um… friend… Jack Harkness?"_

A woman whose voice he didn't recognize chimed in.

"_Jack Harkness?... My God, I haven't heard that name in years…"_

"_I'm sorry to ring you like this, I know it's late."_

"_it's two in the morning! You call me about Jack after thirty years, is something wrong?"_

"…_He's dying."_

The dialogue stopped and theme music played, Jack's voice began a monologue. Ianto paused the clip. "Jack?"

Jack came over, and took the headphones. Ianto played the clip. "When were you dying?"

"Umm… yesterday?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Ianto, that hasn't happened yet, so don't worry."

Owen scanned the descriptions. "_Janto, Janto, Janto, Gwack, Janto, Janto, Towen, Gryse, Janto, Janto…_" What did it all MEAN?

Tosh leaned back as she finished the extremely long article. Gwen, who had just finished episode one, walked over. "So," Jack began, "What've we all learned?"

"That this universe is ahead of ours?"

"That Jack spends way too much time on rooftops?"

"That Ianto has way too many fangirls?"

"That Our future is really depressing?"

Jack sighed. "We need to get out of here. Badly."


	11. Monday, July 11, 2011

**Nomad. Fluff Monday. Inspired most likely by my families frequent coffee breaks at Starbucks. Messed up formats in my stories are explained by the fact that I am stuck using Notepad, which as we all know isn't the best program. Long story.  
><strong>

"Coffee, Teaboy!"

"Coming!"

-Line Break-

"Oh, and Ianto? I would adore a cup of coffee right now..."

-Line Break-

"Would you mind making me some coffee, Ianto dear?"

-Line Break-

"Ianto!" Jack yelled. Ianto turned around wearily and headed up to Jack's office.

"Yes, sir?" he asked warily. He sincerely hoped this wasn't another coffee run, it felt like all he had been doing today was making coffee, coffee, and more coffee.

"Bring your stopwatch in ten minutes, if your not too busy," Jack grinned. Ianto stared, than in a fit of gratitude, gave Jack a bruising kiss and waltzed out with a renewed bounce in his step. A dazed Jack blinked and smiled.

"I don't know what I did, but I have got to do it more often."


	12. Wednesday, June 13, 2011

**Caz. According to the chart, I must now wright a funny Torchwood fanficton inspired by Phineas Gage by Hank Green featuring Towen for Angst Wednesday, July 13th. Funny angst. Damn chart.**

Tosh and Owen were the first to leave the Hub after the day Suzie died for the second time. "It kind of reminds me of Phineas Gage, don't you think?"

Owen raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he got stabbed through the brain, and he survived- at least for a little while. Suzie was shot through the brain, and she survived- kind of."

Owen rolled his eyes. "Tosh, just… don't make any more medical jokes. It really doesn't suit you."

Tosh smiled slightly as the elevator to the tourist's office began to rise. "You know, Owen, if you were a bit kinder to people, you might enjoy life more."

"Right, okay then Tosh." Owen grinned sarcastically. "I'll take your advice, and keep it in my mind for when hell freezes over."

"We live on a rift in time and space, we work for an agency that fights aliens, our secretary has a shockingly close relationship with a dinosaur, and our boss is immortal. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think stranger things have happened."


	13. Friday, July 15, 2011

"What are we doing on Earth?" The Master stared. The Doctor fidgeted uncomfortably.  
>"Consider it a pit-stop," he inspected his tie. "I needed to pick up some supplies before taking you anywhere." The Master scowled, the brightened up as he spotted a pub.<br>"Let's have a drink," he said as he dragged the Doctor down the street.  
>-Line Break-<br>"I can't believe this," The Doctor actually sounded amazed. The Master shrugged, pleased. "This must be a new record. Well, for you, anyway. Half an hour, and you get us both arrested."  
>"How long did it take you to get arrested? And where, since these humans seem to love you," The Master asked curiously.<br>"About ten minutes, on Messaline," the Doctor admitted. He flushed as his cellmate burst out laughing. The two of them started an argument over who caused more chaos, but stopped when they heard the sound of their cell door opening. A young man was unceremoniously dumped inside before the door closed again.  
>There was an awkward silence in which they all stared at each other. The young man was quite attractive, with blue eyes and curly brown hair.<br>"So," the Master broke the silence. "What are you in here for?" The young man blushed.  
>"Public indeceny," he mumbled. The Master snickered, earning a frown from the Doctor. "I'm Chris, by the way.<br>"John," the Doctor smiled. He pointed a thumb at the Master. "And this is Harry."  
>"What about you?" Chris asked. "How did you two end up in here?"<br>"I stabbed a poodle with a fork," the Master said nonchalantly. "And tried to frame him." he inclined his head towards the Doctor. Chris's jaw dropped. The Doctor gave a sheepish grin.  
>"Believe it or not, its true," he said quietly. "His excuse was that it was annoying. Needless to say, the poodle's owner wasn't pleased."<br>"It was annoying!" the Master exclaimed.  
>-Line Break-<br>The cell door slid open. All three were escorted out, dumped into the street, and warned not to cause trouble again.  
>Chris turned to the other men. "I should get going," he fished a piece of paper out of his pocket and pressed it into the Doctor's hand. "Call me," he said, then vanished down the dimly lit street, oblivious to the Doctors open mouthed stare and the Master's laughter. <div> 


	14. Monday, July 18, 2011

© 2011 Microsoft Terms PrivacyAbout our adsAdvertiseDevelopers Help Center FeedbackReport abuseEnglish

InboxCalendarContactsSend documentsDocs shared with youPhotos of you New Word document New Excel workbook New PowerPoint presentation New OneNote notebookShare 

Loading...

ContactsProfileAdd friends

Sign in to MessengerPop out MessengerMessenger isn't available now.Reconnecting in {0}:{1}... NETWORK_NAME Available Available Busy Busy Away Away Appear offline Appear offlineSign out of MessengerMore themesPrivacy settingsAccountOptions

Share something new Share something new

Select a photo from your computer

Select a document from your computer

Url to link

No image

Link title

Link description

Sorry, we can't update your status right now. Try again later. Sharing... Loading... Add:PhotoLinkDocument Share

{0}

{2}

{0}

{0}

{0}

{0}

{2}


	15. Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Amy was, for once, bored. So she decided to do the logical thing: explore the TARDIS. The Doctor was messing around under the console, so she wouldn't be missed for a little while. She wandered the corridors, peeking through doors as she went. Amy found a kitchen, several guest bedrooms, the missing swimming pool, and finally, a library. Intrigued, she stepped inside, eager to find out what kind of books the Doctor read.  
>To her surprise, she found mainly biographies, with the odd mystery or thriller thrown in here or there. There was a small table set to the side along with a few chairs. A book lay open on the table. Upon closer investigation, she saw the page had been markedwith a beautiful charcoal drawing.<br>The picture showed a young girl, with short, curly black hair and a loving smile. Though the picture was in black and white, you could see the sparkle in her eyes. The artist had lovingly written 'Susan' at the bottom of the picture. Some intuition told her the Doctor himself had drawn the picture. Amy had an inkling of jealousy. Who was this girl? And why was she so special to the Doctor?  
>"Amy?" The Doctor appeared in the doorway. He saw her standing next the the picture and sighed. "I knew I should have put that away."<br>"Who is she?" Amy asked sharply. The Doctor sighed and ran his hand through his hair. His normally cheerful demeanor now had an melancholy expression.  
>"My granddaughter," The Doctor answered. He saw her expression. "Yes, I know, I'm older than I look, you know. Why shouldn't I have a family, anyway? I had a wife, children... and I had Susan." He came over and looked at the picture."What happened to her?" Amy couldn't stop herself from asking.<p>

"She traveled with me for a while. Then she fell in love. I left her in 22nd century earth, visited a few times but... it's painful. Bittersweet. Sometimes its better just to have the memories."

"How old are you really, then?" Amy asked curiously. The Doctor smiled.  
>"Why?" he asked. "So you can throw me a birthday party?"<p> 


	16. Friday, July 22, 2011

**Caz here. Review for Joel? He's cool! He's a vampire! Vampires Suck! Oh, wait… I'm not really making a good case for myself here, am I?**

Jack chewed his gingerbread cookie in thought. This was good. It was Christmas Eve, he and Ianto were going to see Ianto's family for Christmas, Tosh and Owen would spend Christmas together, Gwen was already home with Rhyse; nobody would be alone. Jack wouldn't be alone, for the first time in years. Christmas was the one day aliens would invade, but Torchwood needn't worry, because Christmas was the day they only came for the Doctor. Jack might ACTUALLY have a decent holiday season. That was good.

Ianto froze mid-step on the threshold to Jack's office, halfway in, halfway out as the hub sirens began to wail. "We've got a trace of minor rift activity just outside the tourist's office!" Tosh shouted.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Great. _Another _'Christmas Weevil?'"

"No, just this bloke. He claims to know you, Jack." Owen raced in through the tourist's office entrance, towing behind him a dark-haired man in a dark suit that highly contrasted his pale skin.

The man looked around nervously, seemingly frightened by the presence of so many humans. "I-I don't mean you any harm! I didn't expect sirens; I just wanted to-to wish Jack a happy Christmas."

Jack leaned over the railing. "Well, he's being honest when he says he won't hurt us; that's against his very biology."

Tosh lowered her gun, but Owen held fast to the man, who didn't try to escape him. "You KNOW him?"

"Yeah, he's an alien who was held in Victorian-Era Torchwood for a few years. We keep in touch."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "What, _another_ evil ex? What is this, _Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World?_"

"He's not my ex; just an old friend. Well, not really a friend. Not evil either. Just- an acquaintance. It's a long story."

Owen scowled while releasing him. "Well, you've got a while to tell us. We're in lockdown now, and won't get out of here for another six hours. Way to ruin Christmas, mate."

"Hey, I-"

Ianto reached the bottom level. "If we're going to be here overnight, at least we've got eggnog."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The six, now slightly drunk, sat in a circle on the Hub floor, each holding a mug of spiked eggnog.

"So, Joel, what were you doing for Christmas?" Tosh tried to make conversation.

"My species doesn't celebrate Christmas." The vampire shrugged, then stared back into the eggnog he had taken to be polite.

"Right, what exactly _is_ your species again?" Owen's left eyebrow raised in suspicion.

Joel shrugged uncomfortably. "Well, I… I guess you could call me a vampire. I can only feed off a certain plant on my homeworld, which has been destroyed, or on human blood."

Tosh shifted away uncomfortably. "I thought you said your species couldn't kill?"

The vampire subconsciously wrapped his arms around his torso in nervous hesitation. "Well it-it's not really killing if he j-just comes back to life afterwards, right?"

Owen's face dropped. "Yeah, sorry, mate, did you just say what I think you just-"

"Owen." Jack interrupted, "This isn't your concern."

"Oh, piss off, Jack." Owen turned to face Joel, who was looking extremely happy to see the power come back online.

"Hey! I'll just be- uh, going…" Joel turned around to be nose-to-nose with Ianto, who was standing directly behind him. "Hi! Uh, Ianto- wasn't it?"

"That's right." Ianto's left eyebrow raised slightly. "Now what was that you were saying?"

Joel started to back up again, only to turn and face Tosh, who was now standing opposite Ianto. "You said it 'wasn't really killing if he just comes back to life afterwards.'"

"Now," Owen stepped forwards, so the three had the young vampire surrounded, "I only know of one man who can 'come back to life afterwards.'"

Jack stepped between the three, holding up his arms. "This isn't what it looks like. Now, if you'd just give me a minute to explain-"

"To explain _what_, Jack!" Ianto turned his attention to the immortal. "That you've been sneaking off to let this bloke MURDER you all the time?" Ianto drew his gun on Joel, who was shuffling slowly to the corner. "And YOU! How many times, eh? How MANY times have you killed him, because you're too damned NERVOUS to feed off anyone else? How about corpses, ever think of that! Or blood banks! But NO, you just _have_ to kill JACK once a month!"

**And this is where my brain died. Sorry 'bout that. Finish that conversation off in your heads, kay?**


	17. Monday, July 25, 2011

"Amy, I'm over 900 years old. I haven't had a birthday party in centuries. Why should I have one now?" The Doctor argued.  
>"Because everyone should have a birthday party," Amy said stubbornly. Rory just shrugged. Which is how the kitchen ended up looking as if something had exploded, and in the end they just chose a small cupcake with TARDIS blue icing and a single candle. Amy and Rory insisted on taking the Doctor around the city- in present day times. They went bowling, had ice cream, and generally just messed around. At the end of the day, when they were all safely back in the TARDIS, the Doctor admitted it had been wonderful.<br>"Thank you," he said. "For a wonderful birthday."


	18. Wednesday, July 27, 2011

**Caz. Wednesday July 27. I'm TIRED! Okay, I think we've got some recurring characters. Namely Joel and the spinny-dialy-memory-angsty-machine. Tell us what you think about that in a review. Or more than one. Or a PM. We won't bite. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Then maybe.**

As the Doctor stood back slightly, Jack took a step forward. "My turn." The others looked up in confusion. "Well, now that the Doctor's had to share something, it seems fair that we should all share memories."

The others nodded in approval. Tosh stepped forwards. "So, Doctor, maybe if I was to turn the dial slightly slower, than maybe I could set it to something more specific, like- what's that mean?"

The Doctor leaned over to inspect the device. "Uh- it looks like you've set it to the times we've gotten a cold. Or the times we've bought Volvos. But probably the first option. It probably won't take all the memories of us getting colds, just the times when important stuff happened."

Gwen laughed slightly, then stepped forwards, refusing to meet the Doctor's eyes. "I started all this. I should go first." Gwen delicately aligned her fingers to the handprint, and watched as the image streamed before her, projected onto the Hub wall.

_Gwen Cooper was nine, maybe ten, when she got the cold. She was overjoyed to stay home from school alone, while her parents were out working._

_Of course, Gwen didn't stay inside for long. A little before lunchtime, Gwen looked out her window to see- a man? Chasing a creature? These kinds of things just didn't happen in Splott. Being a curious child, Gwen left the house in her pajamas to investigate. She soon found the man in an allyway, alongside an unconscious whatever-that-was. _

_The man turned, and extended a friendly hand to Gwen "Captain Jack Harkness, nice to meet you."_

Gwen looked at Jack in fury. "You retconed me!"

"_Will retcon you." The man on the screen corrected._

"_What?" Gwen was thoroughly confused. _

"_My past, your future. Anyways, Gwen Cooper, promise me this:"_

"_What?"_

"_Survive 'till the twenty-first century."_

Jack looked slightly bemused. "Alright, Note To Self: Travel back in time and knock a weevil out."

Tosh smiled slightly. "If only Owen were here! Shouldn't he be back by now? That was only one weevil."

Ianto shrugged. "Maybe he decided to eat while he was out? Anyways, who's up next?" Nobody volunteered. "I guess it's me."

Ianto rolled his eyes, then put his hand on the print. "Nothing particularly exciting happened ever happened to me while I had a cold, so this will probably be a random memory. Probably boring, or-" Ianto froze in horror as the memory started. "No way. This is far too embarrassing. Pass."

Gwen held Ianto down. "Nope! We're all in this together. Except Owen."

Ianto closed his eyes in embarrassment.

_Lisa straightened Ianto's collar as they left the door. "Are you _sure _you want to go to work today? You're sick!"_

_Ianto sniffled. "Yvonne's not the most forgiving boss in the world. I should go."_

"_Workaholic." Lisa rolled her eyes as they got into the car._

"I don't see what's so embarrassing about going to work while sick." Jack mused, while watching the rather uneventful drive to Torchwood One. Ianto remained silent.

_Ianto blew his nose as soon as he arrived at his office in the archives. Then he proceeded to check his work inbox from his laptop. "Hello, Jack."_

Gwen's eyebrows furrowed as Ianto blushed, covering his face with his spare hand.

_Ianto turned to face a file lying open in the personnel section. The file on Captain Jack Harkness, to be exact. The picture on the file seemed almost like a mug shot. Jack was covered in bruises, his hair was slicked down, yet he was still handsome, despite his slightly sad expression. "I really don't talk much normally, but you're different. Well, most likely because I'm talking to a bloody file, so you can't reply, but, insane as that is, I kind of like it." _

_Memory-Ianto remained silent as he sipped his tea and proceeded to file away artifacts brought in by other workers. "Mainly because, talking to you, I have to wonder. Wonder what you'd say, how you'd act, what you'd do if you were actually here. Sometimes I wonder what happened to you, why you look like that in the picture. Maybe that's why you stood out to me, you aren't trying to be perfect like all the others. You aren't the 'Cap'n Jack Harkness, Immortal Badass In A Coat' like people describe you in your file. I suppose that's how you'd act. You'd try to be brave, to be strong for everyone else in the room, because, when it comes down to it, you're the only one with an inkling of experience when it comes to all these creatures we protect people from, and you know it. But, in that picture, you're not a miracle, or champion, or- okay, fine, I'll give you hero- but still, you're just _Jack._ And that makes me wonder what did that to you, who did that to you, and what happened to you to make you so hopeless you couldn't keep up the mask." Ianto sneezed. "It makes me want to bloody murder whoever hurt you that badly."_

_Ianto returned to his desk and sipped his tea some more. "I must sound crazy, talking to a file. I've got friends. I've got a job. I've got a fiancé, yet here I am, acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. On a file. Okay, fine I am crazy. And a stalker. I'm Ianto: The Crazy Schoolgirl Stalker With A Crush On A File. And, realistically, I could track you down. Torchwood Cardiff can't be that hard to find. Hell, I've seen you come here to meet with officials! I would talk to you, but what would I say? 'Hi, I'm Ianto, and I've been stalking you for quite a while now?' No! You'd think I'm mad!"_

"_Ianto?" Ianto turned to see Lisa. "Talking to the file again? It's lunch already, let's go."_

_Ianto laughed then followed her up out of the archives. _

"_Seriously, though, you weren't talking to the file again, were you?" Lisa joked. "Sometimes I think you love those archives more than you love me."_

When the memory ended, Ianto was blushing brighter red than Hayley Williams's hair. "I'll be in the archives if anyone needs me."

Gwen and Tosh followed him. "Ianto! I thought it was cute!"

"And I'd place money that Jack thought so too."

Ianto laughed. "Sure, I bet he loved getting his massive ego stroked!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Well, I think it's Jack's turn next. Tosh and I're going to go back now, you can come if you want."

Ianto followed the two women. Embarrassment be damned, he wanted to see what all interesting things had happened while Jack had a cold. Judging by the extent of Jack's life, a lot.

Ianto refused to meet Jack's eyes when he entered the room. The Doctor was the first to speak. "Alright, Jack, this thing works proportionally: one memory for every thirty years you've lived. Seeing as we're the only ones here over forty, everyone else had only one memory. You're just over a century old, so you should have three."

Jack grinned and set his hand down on the box. "Three random cold memories? Alright, I can do that."

The first memory was of Rose and the Doctor. "Oh, this is back when I was still mortal!"

_Jack awoke in the TARDIS to see two figures watching him from the window._

"_What if he's dying!" Rose whispered to the Doctor._

_The Doctor's eyebrows raised slightly. "He's not."_

"_But what if he is!"_

"_He's just got a cold."_

"'_He' is awake, and fairly certain 'he' is not dying. Leave me alone!" Jack made his presence known. _

_The Doctor was happy to oblige to his request. "Only you could get a cold on a planet where the virus went extinct years ago. Such a freak."_

_Rose, however, shut the door softly and came to sit by Jack, eyeing him sympathetically while stroking a hand through his hair. Jack rolled over to face her properly, smiling slightly. "You really thought I was dying?" he teased._

"_I was worried!" Rose raised her hands and voice defensively. _

"_Uh-huh." Jack acted as though he didn't believe her._

"_Fine." Rose gave up. "But, even if you did die, I'd find some way to bring you back."_

"_Is that so?"_

"_Oh yes. There's no escaping me, Mister!"_

"_That's 'Captain' to you!" Jack shouted as she left the room._

"_Uh-huh!"_

The Doctor rolled his eyes in a very nine-ish way as it cut to the next memory.

"_Hello, freak!"_

_Jack groaned. "Hello, Alice."_

"_So, sick, are we?"_

"_Obviously."_

_Alice Guppy sat down beside Jack, a cruel smile on her face. "Watch your tone, freak. Now, see, I'm now one team member short. And you know how much I hate that."_

"_I'm _sick_. What more do you expect?"_

"_Oh, I expect much better from you, Captain Harkness." Alice stated, as she pulled her shotgun to Jack's head and shot point-blank._

Jack rolled his eyes. "At least the cold went away."

_The Master moonwalked into Jack's cell. "Hello, Freak!"_

_Jack groaned._

"_I said," the Master dragged Jack up by his hair and shouted in his ear, "HELLO FREAK!"_

"_Hello."_

"_So, I was thinking, you react worse to being burnt to death, right?"_

"_Oh, I don't know, I was a bit too busy dying to notice."_

"_So, I was thinking, what if we were to impale you on a spike, suspend you over a fire pit, and give you all the time you needed to get off the stick… while you were slowly roasted!" The Master was practically ecstatic. _

_Jack was dragged out of the cell, and forced to watch as a long, metal blade was slowly stabbed into his gut. He promptly bled to death as the blade was hoisted over the fire._

After the Doctor, Tosh, Owen, and Gwen had all gone their separate ways, Jack and Ianto were the only ones left in the Hub.

"So." Ianto began. "When was that?"

"When was what?"

"Your memories. All of them."

"The first one was years ago, back when I was mortal. The second one was just after I joined Torchwood. As for the last one, well, what did you think happened while I was gone?"

"Oh, Jack…" Ianto ran his hand down Jack's face. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It didn't matter. That's in the past now. Well, technically it isn't, since the Doctor reversed everything the Master did. The year that never was."

"A whole year?" Ianto leaned into Jack, pulling him into a tight embrace. It still shocked him how much Jack would endure, then never tell anyone about.

"Do you still want to know when that picture was taken?"

Ianto smiled sheepishly. "Yes."

"That was when Torchwood found me. For the few weeks before I agreed to work with them, I was- well, their immortal pet. They killed me in as many ways the possibly could, just to- just to see if it WOULD kill me. I can't count how many times I died in those few weeks."

"So, why did they ask you to join?"

"Eventually, I let them break me. I quit resisting. They considered that quite an accomplishment, like I was some animal they wanted to tame. So, knowing my- abilities- they asked me to join." Jack coughed, then laughed. "That would be ironic; if I came down with something _now_."

"Well, if you do, you can be sure that nobody will kill you, or call you a freak."

"Is that a promise? I hate it when that happens."

"Oh, I know you do."

…

Jack paused. "Stalker."


	19. Friday, July 29, 2011

The Doctor and the Master were currently stuck on earth for a few days. The Master inevitably got bored. So he decided to go shopping.

They were currently in a gift store with random accessories. The Master picked up a black hairband with a pair of red devil horns attached and put it on. "Hey, Doctor, look," he said. "I;m horny."  
>_<p>

"So let me get this straight," The Master said slowly. " We are stuck inside a giant rubber bouncy ball, which also happens to be our only escape out of these sewers?" the Doctor nodded sheepishly. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's bounce!"

The Doctor and the Master skidded onto the pavement. The freezing air conditioning of the fancy hotel club blasted out as the doors slammed shut.

"That was cold," the Master commented.

The Doctor was feeling sad. Not only had innocents needlessly died that day, but he had also somehow managed to get blue paint all over his suit. The Master had simply laughed when he had seen.

"Feeling a little blue, Doctor?" 


	20. Monday, August 1, 2011

**So, I (Caz, BTDubs) have been out of town for the last three weeks, without access to the internet. I wrote all my stuff for the past three weeks over the 4****th**** of July weekend, so Nomad could post them for me. I thought that, along with that, I had also written for today, so I didn't have to worry about it when I got home. I was wrong. So, I'm now having to write something and post it in the next two hours! Of course, I just remembered that, while out of town, I had my iPod, and, out of extreme boredom one night, I decided to do the iPod shuffle challenge. I was writing with a pen and paper, so it's actually quite short (due to time pressures.)**

_Assassin- Muse_

Jack was changed by his immortality. Sure, there were the more obvious physical changes, but it was also mental. He distanced himself, afraid of loss, love's inevitable partner. He could see the bigger picture, make the sacrifices others couldn't. He could kill and leave without looking back, because he knew what dying felt like. He knew living was harder.

_42- Coldplay_

After the Time War, the Timelords still lived, but only through the mental link. The clung to the Doctor's brain like a tumor, plaguing him with their screams. Every night, he heard them. The TARDIS could only comfort him through sleep.

She couldn't help him through those hallucinations.

_Real World (Demo Version)- All-American Rejects_

The Doctor hated The House for killing Timelords. The TARDIS hated him for hurting her species and her friends. Amy hated him for muddling her brain, confusing her. He twisted her senses, twisted her brain. By the end of her adventure, she had lost all concept of reality.

_K9's Lament- Chameleon Circuit_

K9 loved the Doctor, he really did. Only, that was just his programming. He had a soul. He could dream. He could feel abandonment. He was more human than anyone could claim to be, but he was trapped. Trapped behind programs and metal.


	21. Wednesday, August 3, 2011

**Yeah, so, I've been on an angsty streak lately. Not fun. Plus, I've been packing, PLUS I;m FASTING, so it's really hard to write when you're starving. On the brightside, my birthday's in a week!  
><strong>

Ianto opened his photo album and stared at the pictures. Slowing, he flipped through the pages, taking his time with the memories.

He stopped, hands hovering over the page. He stared at the picture. It was an old photo from Torchwood One, like all the others. It was a photo of him and Lisa, sitting at their desks, smiling and laughing. Their friend Nathan had snuck up on them and taken the photo.

He stared at the photo for a few seconds longer, then closed the album and set it to the side. He automatically raised a hand to check his appearance, then stopped.

Nobody would notice his tears.


	22. Friday, August 5, 2011

**I know it's a Friday, but I don't care. Don't nag me about the lack of humor. It has Janto. So ha. Janto trumps all. This is for Nomad, who needs a hug. I'm a bit busy at the moment, so a digital hug in the form of fluffy Janto will have to do.**

It was a rather idiotic idea, is what Jack would say, if you asked him later. An idiotic idea with painful consequences.

Of course, if you asked him during the physical act of picking up the phone, Jack would say it was instinctual. Picking up a phone when it rang, an action hard-wired into the brain of most twenty-first century humans. And in Jack's.

But, really, none of that matters. While Jack was in that horrid, horrid trance, is when he found it worth it. Worth it to be the first to pick up the phone, so nobody else could be hurt. Especially not Ianto. Yes, it was worth all the pain just to protect Ianto.

But what Jack wouldn't say, what he couldn't- he didn't know, was how much that dreaded phone _had_ hurt Ianto. How it slowly ripped the younger man's heart out, piece by piece, as he stroked a lock of dark hair out of Jack's face. "They say you're supposed to talk to people when they're in a coma, don't they?"

Jack knew nothing but the unimaginable pain. Sounds around him blurred together in a thick wall of noise. Pain constricted his mind, making it impossible for him to continue a straight thought. All he could do to distract himself from the white-hot iron ripping at his skull was his hand in Ianto's, Ianto's thumb tracing small circles in Jack's palm. Jack wished he could return the grip as he struggled in vain against the darkness.

"I have absolutely no idea whether or not you can hear me, Jack. I've never heard of anybody coming out of one and carrying on a conversation."

Ianto's bitter laugh reached Jack through the fog of pain, bringing with it much-needed relief.

"So, I suspect it's probably something the doctors _tell_ us to do, to make us feel better, rather than you."

What Ianto didn't know was that just his voice was the one thing that could help Jack in that instance, the one thing that could banish the pain and the cold.

"We don't feel quite so useless and helpless. We get the feeling there's still some sort of purpose in our lives." And it was true. Without Jack, Ianto would have no purpose. He had given him purpose, after all- after Lisa. "Not just waiting. Waiting for the science to work, or the miracle to happen. Or the nightmare to end.

I'm not much of a talker, Jack. You know that."

Jack wondered if the various monitors hooked up to him registered how his heart spiked in fear at those words- fear that Ianto would stop talking, and Jack would be left alone in a world of pain.

"But I'll talk to you now, on the off-chance that it helps." Of course it helped. Ianto often made all the difference in Jack's pain, even in death- and Ianto knew that.

"Just promise me, if you're hearing this, that when you come round- and you're going to, Jack, you're going to come out of this- just promise me you'll never bring up anything I say to you. How's that? We got a deal?"

_It depends on what you say._

"This must be the longest that I've ever looked at you and not seen you smile."

Jack wished he _could_ smile, that he _could_ sit up and hold Ianto close to his chest and refuse to let him go.

"I've watched you in your sleep, did you know that? So many times, just woken up beside you in the middle of the night and watched you. Watched your eyes moving behind your eyelids as you dreamed, and tried to imagine what a man like you could possibly dream about. The things you've seen, the lives you've lived, the people you've loved. I wondered if you were dreaming about me. I hoped you were dreaming about me. But let's be honest, Jack. I'm nothing more than a blip in time for you."

Ianto didn't realize how wrong he was. It was always him- always his voice that pulled Jack out of death, out of the darkness, out of the nightmares.

"Everyday, I grow a little older. But you're immortal. You've already lived a thousand lifetimes. How could you watch me grow old and die?" He couldn't. Jack knew that. But he couldn't leave Ianto either.

"How could I watch you live, and never age a day? I suppose we both know that will never be a problem, not in this job. No one in Torchwood ever lives to draw their pension, do they?" compared to Jack, Ianto was like glass. One day, he would shatter so much that he wouldn't be able to piece him back together. And that would be what finally killed Jack.

"Even if by some miracle I survive to see my hair turn grey, or, God forbid, fall out, I din't kid myself you'd still be around to see it."

Jack couldn't believe how wrong Ianto was. He would be there, no matter how much it hurt. He had to. For Ianto.

"One day, you'll go again, just like you did before. And this time you won't be back. Maybe that's what you're dreaming about, those nights, when I watch you sleeping. Maybe that's why, even when you sleep, I see you smile."

Jack wished he could hold Ianto now, to kiss his tears away as he heard his voice break. He was right. Jack did dream about seeing the stars again. But, every time, Ianto was there too. Jack wished he had never left with the Doctor, after seeing how much it had hurt Ianto.

"But you haven't gone yet, Jack. I know that. I know you're coming back to me."


	23. Monday, August 8, 2011

The Master says nothing as he gently bandages the Doctor's arm. The Doctor is also silent, though his pain is evident.  
>"You could have gotten yourself killed," The Master finally says. The Doctor stares at his arm.<br>"I know. I'm sorry," he whispers. The Master only shakes his head, knowing that saying anything more would be pointless.  
>The Doctor looks up, and runs a thumb across the Master's face.<br>"I love you," he says quietly. The Master blinks, then smiles- a real, sincere, smile, one that even the Doctor has rarely seen.  
>"I love you too," The Master replies. The two of them continue to sit in silence, reveling in each other's company.<p> 


	24. Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Ianto liked snow, he decided, after waking up to a very excited Jack on an early January morning.

"Ianto! Look! It has to be _at least_ eight inches thick!"

Ianto blinked the gritty sleep out of his eyes and trudged to the window. Jack was right, the snow _was_ thick, beautiful, and untouched.

Jack was practically bouncing off the walls. "Let's get to the Hub early, and ambush Gwen!"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "How, exactly, do you plan on getting the car through that snow?"

"We can walk! Come on, hurry up and get dressed!"

"That coming from the man who undressed me…" Ianto grumbled as he pulled on a charcoal grey suit.

As soon he was dressed, Ianto was dragged out the door by a very excited Jack. They talked as they walked, discussing the scene around them, and their plans to ambush Gwen.

"Oh, that's odd." Ianto pointed to three odd figures in the snow. "Kind of beautiful, though."

Jack froze as his eyes locked on the stone angels. "Ianto?"

"Yes?"

"Don't. Even. Blink."

"Why, might I ask?"

"They're alien."

"Oh, great. What're that called?"

"Nobody really knows. They used to be called the 'Lonely Assassins.' Whenever you look at them, they turn to stone."

"And when you don't look at them?"

"Then they kill you. They're fast, so fast that if you blink, they kill you instantly, and painfully."

Ianto's eyes suddenly began to twitch. "So how do we get out of here alive?"

"We don't."

"Jack, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"WE don't. You see, the angels only switch targets when they're positive their prey is dead."

"No. I'm not letting you do this." Ianto's eyes betrayed him and moved from the statues to the Captain's face.

"Ianto. When I say, I need you to run, as fast as possible, to the Hub. We're not that far."

"But then what? Even if I did, how're Gwen and I supposed to kill them?"

"Ianto."

"Jack-"

"Ianto. Don't look back."

"Jack…"

"Ianto.." Jack whispered, closing his eyes, "RUN!"

Jack felt nothing but immense pain as the angels ripped at his flesh, futilely attempting to confirm his death. He could only hope that Ianto would make it to the Hub while the angels were still distracted by their target.

Ianto sprinted through the snow-covered streets of Cardiff to the Hub. He burst into the central room, startling a rather exhausted-looking Gwen.

"Ianto! What the hell's going on?"

"Gwen! No time! Just-" Ianto ran to his desk and pulled up the CCTV footage of the empty lot where he had left Jack. The angels were still from the eyes locked on the screen, and Jack lay still, obviously dead.

No, Ianto realized, he did not like snow, especially when it was dyed red with Jack's blood.

"What the hell?"

"I don't know. They're these aliens, Jack said, that freeze to stone whenever you look at them. When you blink, or turn your back, they kill you. Except, the only lock on one target at a time, and don't switch 'till they kill whatever it is they're killing, so they got distracted by Jack."

"And you just left him?"

"Well, he didn't exactly give me a choice!"

"Of course. Always has to be the bloody hero. That's just great, what the hell are we supposed to do?"

"Well, I don't know!"

"Well, CHECK THE ARCHIVES THEN, and find out!"

Ianto ran to the lower levels of the Hub, grabbing the file. He ran back up the stairs, and began skimming the information. "It says here that the Doctor faced them once, with a girl named Sally Sparrow, but outsmarted them by dematerializing the TARDIS while they were around it, so they were always looking at each other."

"Well, that's clever, but how are we supposed to recreate that?"

Ianto looked at the monitor at the disgustingly beautiful creatures, frozen in a circle around- "Jack." Ianto whispered. "He knew this would happen. Look."

Gwen stared at the monitor for a moment before realization crept onto her face. "He tricked them!"

_I have done too much running today already, _Ianto thought as he ran back to where he had left Jack. He dragged the older man out from between the angels. He cradled Jack's head in his arms, trying to soothe the Captain back into life. "You did it, Jack." He muttered. "You saved us." He ran his fingers through Jack's dark hair. The immortal suddenly flung himself forwards, gasping for air. Ianto held him down as he regained his breath.

"Ianto?"

"Jack."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"…"

"Come on, Jack." Ianto helped the American up. "Let's get back to the Hub."

"Not even half an hour, and I've already died a few dozen times. I think that's a new record."

**I realize that was rushed. I realize it was anticlimactic. It's 11:45. I don't have time to edit. Caz, btdubs.**


	25. NOMAD'S BDAY OMFG

Jack ran through the cog wheel door, his coat flying behind him as he sprinted across the main Hub. "Ianto!"

"Oh, hello Jack." Ianto nonchalantly sipped his coffee.

"Where is it?" Jack looked around frantically.

"Oh, that?"

"Obviously!"

"It's just through here." Ianto led the way into the archives, stopping in front of a large black and white structure.

"That." Jack deadpanned, "Is what you called me out of a weevil hunt for?"

"Well, look at it!" Ianto paced around the twenty-foot-high panel. "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know. To me, it just looks like black and white blocks stacked together."

"Could it be dangerous?"

"I don't know. We should get away from it."

The two men backed away from the block structure, guns raised.

"Wait, hold on…" Ianto tilted his head to the side, "When you look at it from this distance, it kind of looks like a…"

"Troll face?" Jack suggested.

"Yeah…" Ianto sighed. "Wow. Is this what we're reduced to, aiming guns at a troll face?"

Jack laughed half-heartedly as he approached the structure. He reached out a hand and lay it on a black block, then jumped in surprise as the colors began to change, causing the animated troll face to sing.

"_This is your birthday song! It isn't very long…"_

The cheery tune cut off abruptly. "It isn't my birthday…" Ianto muttered.

"Oh no." Jack stared at the face in shock.

"What is it?"

"That's it, I'm calling the Doctor. There's nothing I can do about this."

"What is it Jack?"

"It's… Nomad's birthday."

**Jack's right! It's Nomad's birthday! Yay! Throw the confetti! Wait, we don't do that here? Okay. That's cool. Anyways, the best birthday present YOU personally could give her is a review. So go. Flood our inbox. Now. I, Caz (censored), command it. Write a review. Write an anonymous review. Tell your friends. Get them to review.**


	26. Monday, August 15, 2011

**It's three in the morning. I should go to sleep soon. I think I'll get this fluff thing over with.**

"So, Jack." The Doctor took a nonchalant bite of icecream. "What's going on with that team of yours?"

Jack smiled slightly. "Not much since you last saw me. Tosh's still brilliant. Gwen's still obnoxious. Ianto's still sexy. Owen's still a prat."

The Doctor laughed. "Any chance I might be able to meet this team of yours any time soon?"

* * *

><p>Jack burst from the TARDIS into the Hub, an excited grin plastered across his face. "Hey, kids! I'm back! And I brought a friend!"<p>

Ianto rolled his eyes as he walked by. "Not again."

"Love you too, Ianto!" Jack turned to Tosh, who was typing away as if nothing had happened. "Hey Tosh, this is the Doctor. Doctor, this is Tosh- she's brilliant. You two should get along."

Tosh blushed, waved, and turned back to the screen.

"This equipment's rather nice, for this century." The Doctor pulled out his glasses and pushed them up his nose.

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS?" Owen burst into the Hub through the cog wheel door, followed quickly by Gwen.

Jack rolled his eyes. "And THIS is Owen Harper-"

"That's DOCTOR Owen Harper." Owen intergected.

"Owen, this is the Doctor. Now, Doctor, THIS is Gwen Cooper."

"The obnoxious one?"

"OI! I-"

Gwen was cut off by Tosh, who was leaning further over her computer. "Jack, we've got a rift spike near the bay."

"Weevil, or something interesting?"

Tosh pushed up her glasses. "Well, it's definitely not a weevil."

Jack pulled out his Webley. "Let's go!"

The six ran through the streets of Cardiff, until they reached a rather large empty warehouse. "Right." Tosh checked her portable monitor. "This is the place."

Jack cast a quick glance around the area. "Alright. Tosh, Doctor- you take the Southern entrance. Owen, you and Gwen can take this door. That leaves Ianto and me to cover the side door. Let's go."

The group divided, each group heading towards there designated entrance. Tosh kept her eye on the monitor as she followed the Doctor through the aisles of stacked crates, torches in hand. The locked eyes as they faced a dead end, and retreated through the maze.

"So, Owen, what do you think about that Doctor fellow?" Gwen turned to her comrade, letting her guard down.

"Shut it! You're going to get us killed." Owen pushed ahead, raising his gun as they negotiated the rows of stacked who-knows-whats. "Now, let's just get this over with."

"So, that's the famous Doctor?" Ianto questioned as he followed Jack into the warehouse.

Jack nodded.

"_He's_ the reason you left? You still haven't told me what went on while you were gone, by the way."

"Ianto," Jack burst around a corner, gun raised. "Now really isn't the time."

"Jack, we've got to talk about this sometime!"

Jack shot the younger man a frantic glance, nodding head in the direction of an advancing shadow. The pair advanced quickly, guns raised, around a corner where they came face-to-face with a rather shocked blonde man. Jack drew his hand back and thrust the butt of his gun into the man's head, knocking him out cold.

* * *

><p>The Master regained consciousness in a rather uncomfortable position, slumped against a wooden crate. He groggily raised his head to see the form of a rather angry looking Captain Jack Harkness, and two guns directed at his face. <em>Great<em> he thought, _The Doctor's nowhere in sight, and I have to deal with the freak._

"Ianto." Jack muttered. "Where the hell is the Doctor?"

Tosh burst around a corner, gun raised and ready to shoot at the man in front of her. "Jack!"

A third gun joined the two pointed at the Master, before the Doctor sprinted around the corner, sonic screwdriver raised. "Master?"

The Master stood up slowly. "Thank Rassilon." He rolled his eyes. "Finally, someone around here with a brain."

"Hey…" Jack furrowed his eyebrows, awaiting a signal from the Doctor that it was alright to shoot the blonde bastard.

"Master?" The Doctor stared ahead bewilderedly. "What's going on?"

The Master smiled slightly, then acknowledged the three armed humans. "What, do I look armed? What do you expect me to do?" he addressed the Doctor again. "Hello, Theta."

The Doctor's eyebrows raised. "It's been a long time since anybody called me that."

The Master's eyebrows mirrored the Doctor's. "Yeah. Don't get used to it."

"Don't try anything. It's like you said, you're not armed."

"I don't need to be armed to take out a few measly humans."

"Yes, but is that really what you want? Isn't it enough to see the universe, not own it?"

The Master took a step back. "You never shut up, do you?"

"But, seriously, why-"

"I said, you never shut up, do you?." The Doctor was interrupted by the Master's lips on his, fierce and desperate. He was shocked at first, but he slowly eased into the kiss, letting the Master smooth down his spiked brunette hair. The Master broke away first, pressing the Doctor's head under his chin.

"I came back for you." He whispered, "And I'm never going to die again."

The Doctor smiled to himself, despite the Torchwood Team's awkwardness. Maybe something might end out happily for him, just this once.

Gwen chose the worst possible moment to burst into the already crowded corridor. "What did I miss?"

***sigh.* Gwen bashing. Did you notice the lack of updatation on Friday? That was Nomad's day. How do you suppose we punish her?**


	27. Wednesdy, August 17, 2011

It all started normally. A relatively quiet day in Cardiff. The only occurence was a few weevils getting loose near the country- quiet close to the Brecon Beacons, in fact, something that had set the entire team on a slight edge. No, the real chaos started once they got back to the Hub.

"Coffee?" Ianto asked quietly. A chorus of 'yes, please's' arose. Ianto smiled and silently left for the kitchen. Jack smiled at the younger man's back. He knew it hadn't been easy for Ianto to go back so close to the location of that disastrous mission.

Ianto reappeared with a tray of mugs. He headed down to the autopsy bay first, then left a mug on Toshiko's desk before heading over to Gwen and Jack. The two of them were talking quietly in front of the main door.

"Here you go," Ianto handed them their coffee. Both smiled their thanks. Gwen merely took a quick sip, but Jack took a long draught and let out a lusty sigh that made Ianto blush. Owen, who had just re-entered the room, snickered.

Tosh leaned back in her chair, computer program apparently finished. "So what is everyone planning to do?" She asked.

"You should probably go home," Jack said to Gwen. "Who knows when you'll get another chance like this?"

"Actually," Gwen hesitated. "Rhys is out of town for a few days... and I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for dinner with me?" Silence.

Without making a sound, Ianto left and sought refuge in the Archives. He could feel Tosh and Owen's sympathetic eyes on his back. Once deep within the Archives, he sat with his back against the wall in a numb daze. Trust Gwen to pull something like this on the night Jack and Ianto were going to spend together, just relaxing.

"I'm really sorry Gwen," Jack explained. "But I've already made plans. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Ianto." He turned and followed the path he'd seen the young welshman take. Owen waited until Jack was safely out of earshot before turning on Gwen.

"What," Owen hissed. "The hell was that?" Tosh stood beside him as he spoke.

"You know Jack and Ianto have feelings for each other," Tosh added softly. Gwen looked at the two in disbelief.

"Feelings?" She scoffed. "Please tell me you're kidding. Ianto is just Jack's part-time shag, that's all. In fact, if there's anyone here he has feelings for, its me." Even Tosh looked disgusted at this point.

"Your even stupider than I thought," Owen was beyond tact. "That flirting meant nothing- because that's all it was, flirting. Jack flirts with everyone. If you took the time to look, you could see that it goes deeper than that with those two. And that's something you're going to have to understand, otherwise things are gonna get pretty nasty around here soon enough." Owen stalked off back to the Autopsy bay, and after a moments hesitation, Tosh followed.

"Ianto?" Jack called out. He was relieved when he turned the corner and found him sitting there, then started worrying when he didn't move. "Ianto!"

"Oh, Jack," Ianto blinked. "It's okay, I understand, we can reschedule for next week, if that's okay..."

"What?" Jack asked confusedly. "Oh! Ianto, I said no, I would never just blow you off like that!" Ianto turned and studied Jack's face. After a moment, he nodded, then smiled. He beckoned Jack closer, and surprised him with a chaste kiss. Ianto grinned at Jack's pout when he pulled away.

"Oh, stop it," Ianto said amusedly. "There will be plenty of that later."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


	28. Friday, August 19, 2011

**Caz, btdubs. Crack. Set while Jack was traveling with nine and rose. In my opinion, Jack was the only worthwhile character in that past sentence.**

Jack crept silently through the TARDIS, towards where he knew the Doctor's room was, judging by what the TARDIS herself had told him telepathically. He wasn't really sure what he'd find there, but he was bored, and in need of entertainment.

Maybe, Jack hoped, the Doctor would be there, naked, and willing. Of course, seeing the looks the man shared with his blonde companion, that didn't seem likely. Jack didn't mind, if he was quiet enough, he might find Rose and the Doc going at it. Though he'd prefer to be in the action himself, Jack never did mind a show.

An empty room would be alright as well. Jack had always wondered what treasures and trinkets littered the Doctor's pockets, what a man like him would fill his room with. But he wouldn't have to wonder anymore, the Doctor would be waiting just around this one last corner…

Jack slowly and silently turned the knob, relieved to find the door unlocked. He cracked it, peeking his head in.

"Oh, hello Jack." Frantic turquois eyes met gleeful ice blue as Jack looked up in alarm- half guilty, half curious. The Doctor peered at the Boeshanian from behind a book.

"Doctor, is that what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking it's a book, then yes."

"Sorry, it's just- not what I'd… expect you to be reading."

The Doctor grinned. "Why not?"

"Well, you just don't seem like a 'Harry Potter' sort of guy."


	29. Monday, August 22, 2011

**Okay, so I am officially back in London after two years now. And missing everyone after a day. Wonderful. On the bright side, I don't start school for about another week and a half. On the not-so bright side, we're still looking for a house. Right now, I;m staying in one of those rental apartment places which is actually really quite nice.  
><strong>  
>"DUCK!" Tosh yelped. She and Ianto crouched behind the thin board, both of them panting heavily. The two of them were drenched in sweat,the arms tired from carrying the guns in their hands, but they were having the time of their lives.<br>All of a sudden, Gwen and Owen appeared, firing away at Tosh and Ianto. Ianto and Tosh fired back, aiming at their opponent's visors, effectively blinding them.  
>"All right, all right! I surrender," Gwen said, spitting paint out of her mouth. Owen grudgingly put down his own weapon. Ianto smiled, then fired away at what seemed to be nothing, but then turned out to be Jack.<br>"I think it's kind of obvious Ianto won," Tosh smiled. Ianto grinned and fired another shot at Jack, splaterring orange paint on Jack's shoulder. "Hey!" Jack protested.  
>Ianto shrugged. "All's fair in love and war," he smiled. Seeing Jack open his mouth, he added "And this is most definitely WAR." They all laughed at Jack's pout.<br>"We should play paintball more often,"

**MISS YOU, BLUE!**


	30. Wednesday, August 24, 2011

**WTF! CRAZYASS STORM GOIN ON OUTSIDE! Seriously. I just ninjarolled across the floor in terror after seeing a hugeass lightning strike. Then I remembered I had to write this.**

The Master spit out the blood pooling in his jaw as he walked down the streets of a planet who's name he couldn't bother to remember. He rapped his jacket tighter around himself for protection against the cold and rain, glaring at the warm yet locked up houses around him.

The Master didn't mind this regeneration _that_ much. It was rather bland, with it's brown hair and eyes, but he'd had worse. His shoes covered in mud, his shirt ripped, and his entire being soaked, he looked like a begger roaming the streets.

The master clenched his senses shut as he trudged forwards, but he couldn't ignore a strong whailing coming from his right.

_VWHORP! VWHORP! VWHORP!_

"Oh, hello!" The Doctor called out cheerily

The Master smirked inwardly. _Pleasepleasepleasedon'trecognizemethisishumiliating... _He watched a the Doctor ran down the street, in search of who-knows-what.

The Master stood for a moment, looking from side to side. He smiled to himself, and stepped inside the TARDIS, feeling her startled presence in his mind.

_Oh! Doctor, you're ba-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?_

The Master ignored the psychic, approaching where he knew he'd find the Doctor's bedroom at a half-jog.

He looked around the small room for something to help him- oh. Perfect. A small plush replica of the Master sat on the bed. The ACTUAL Master picked it up, scheming.

The Doctor burst into his TARDIS, soaking wet put laughing just the same. _Wait- what?_ The Doctor ran forwards to see his Master plushie sitting on the console. It never left his room. Never. The Doctor picked it up cautiously, knowing that, after all, Chuckie was based on a true story.

_We're no strangers to love…_

The Doctor heard music drifting down the corridors.

_You know the rules and so do I!_

The Doctor ran into the cinema, to find Rick Astley's _Never Gunna Give You Up_ playing on the large screen. He scowled. "MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"


	31. Friday, August, 26, 2011

The tension was obvious as Jack and Ianto glared at each other. After a few moments, Ianto turned on his heel and walked off. Tosh and Gwen exchanged concerned glances but said nothing.

"I don't know what you did, Jack, but you better Kiss and Make Up soon, otherwise Teaboy's gonna have us all on Decaf for _days._" Owen said in true fashion.

_tenminuteslater_

"I didn't mean _LITERALLY!"_ Owen yelled as the girls howled with laughter.


	32. Friday, September 2, 2011

"Hello, freak!" the Master strutted up to the Captain confidently.

Jack grunted, but didn't reply.

"Nope, I'm not going to torture you. Not today!" Jack couldn't help but to stare at the Master's cheery complexion. "I thought I'd tell you a story.

Jack raised an eyebrow, suspicious, as the master pulled a chair in front of him and sat down.

"Now, when the Doctor was a teenager, he was always oddly silent. Everyone thought he was the first mute timelord. They didn't know. He only ever talked to me. He loved me, then. But we grew up. He didn't understand. He didn't understand that I had to do something about the crumbling state of our society. I knew that human culture survived throughout time; I thought 'if only we could be like that.' So, I traveled to the fifty-first century. I found a human girl, and I raped the little scum."

"Bastard."

The Master ignored Jack. "Unfortunately, when my daughter, the first in a superior race, was thirteen, she was kidnapped by a society bent on turning teenagers into the perfect soldiers. She was trained and raised to be an assassin. Eventually, at age nineteen, she escaped to the twenty-first century where she met the Doctor, and fell madly in love with him. Of course, then she broke his heart to travel the universe, kicking ass. And do you know what they call her, throughout the universe?"

"What." Jack phrased it as a question, but spoke it as a statement.

"Mary-Sue."


	33. Monday, September 5, 2011

He's never had a family in the TARDIS. Well, as close as you can get to a married family with just a married couple, anyway. At first, he wasn't sure what to think of it, but now, he rather like's it. There's always someone to talk to, even if one of them is mad at you (usually Amy), and it seems to put the TARDIS in a good mood too.

Occasionally, it brings back memories- old, old memories, of a long dead wife, with children he rarely saw, and a grand-daughter. A granddaughter who he could never forget, not while she had traveled with him so long ago, and had loved him even at his worst moments. He cherishes those memories above anything.

But now, as he reflects, sometimes making memories with a new family is just as nice.


End file.
